Topic · Jesusisms
The Mister's Dictionary
8 moments
Some managers give interviews, and then there is Jorge Jesus. After four decades in the game, the Mister's personal vocabulary is recognisable enough to have a name — jesusismos, or Jesusisms — and to outlive, by a long way, the context it was said in.
This section keeps the ones said since he became national team manager, each with the date, what he was being asked and a link to the source. It is not a collection of stray jokes: almost all of these lines are news and a joke at the same time, and the one that went round social media is usually exactly the one that led the bulletin.
The archive grows as the cycle goes on. There is also an open poll on the greatest Jesusism of all time — and the four options up for a vote are a good place to start.
The moments
04 October 2026
"They're not extraterrestrials"
They may be very big and very strong, but they're not extraterrestrials.
03 October 2026
"Tomorrow is the fourth game and the bells are already ringing"
But tomorrow is the fourth game and the bells are already ringing.
01 October 2026
"I even played the bass drum with Cris"
I did the same thing at Al Nassr too. I even played the bass drum with Cris when we won.
30 September 2026
"This is very confusing for your head"
I can promise whatever I want. I'm the coach. This is very confusing for your head. I'm the coach, I told the player he wasn't going to play. I'm going to take you on the bench. If I need you for 30 minutes you'll play, if not, you won't play. No player is ever going to change my ideas.
28 July 2026
The Portugal manager dropped in on Al Nassr's training camp in Lisbon
Now the national team manager, he went to watch his former charges' preparations for the new season.
20 July 2026
"I'd already had instructions to draw up Brazil's preliminary squad"
I can confess this here... In the end I didn't go and coach the Brazil national team, but I'd already had instructions to draw up the preliminary squad for the match they had in March, after they lost 4-1 to Argentina.
20 July 2026
"I'm not stupid"
People might think that now the new manager is going to come in and change lots of players. That's not going to happen. I'm not stupid.
10 July 2026
"That lógan: we came to win"
That lógan: we came to win. We came to conquer.